A little lost….. I’m a little lost. I don’t know why but the world seems like a meaningless place to me. Like,there is no purpose. No purpose of anything. No reason for anything. Like every thing is just lost. But then again we say every thing is due to some purpose, everything has a reason , they say.
Sometimes it is quite difficult to understand that God has created everyone for a purpose. That the world ,the universe is a giant machine in which everything has a reason. Every person has a reason. A place. A spot. A role to play. In this universe. They say that God has created everyone for a purpose. There’s a reason. That God has created a specific person for a specific tast and he make him do it. The person doesn’t know but he is doing his play in the universe according to God’s plan. He is not the decider , he is the performer of his Master’s will.
Then we say , every man is born free. Every person decides his own path. That it’s up to you to decide what you do in life. What’s there to decide when God has already written out part.
Why the invisible boundaries? Why the unseen barriers? I ask……
It’s just like they say;
This world, this universe, your own self, is an illusion…… You think you are in control……. But actually you are not.
Just like an illusion. A grand trick. Every person thinks he’s the master of his will. The captain of his own ship. The lone sailor, the controller, decider of his own fate. But his fate has already been decided…….
Sometimes, you have this feeling that nothing can effect you. That you don’t give a shit if the world just ends. You don’t care. You don’t care about the people. You don’t care about your loved ones. You don’t give a shit about what happens. You don’t even care about your self. Like you just want to have a break from all the shit that’s going around you. You just want to go to a place far far away. Away from this world. Away from the people. Alone. Just you and your thoughts and a little peace of mind.
To have some alone time with…….. You. Your own self. That’s what you called “me time”.
So yeah, I was talking about the state of mind when anything that goes around you didn’t effect you. Like you have a stone heart. Emotionally dead. For the time being. Just waste some time. Lose the pressure. The tension. Let it go out. Don’t let your regrets destroy you. Have a calm peaceful moment to yourself. Just you and your thoughts. Listen to some music if you like. One has to charge himself back. I mean you face a lot of hard time in this shot hole of a world. But don’t let it get to your head. Because that’s when the trouble starts.
Let your heart turn to stone.
Just chill. It’s good to just turn off some times 🙂
If only I could just forget you. And only if you could just forget me. As if you were just a story in my mind,as if I was just a thought. If only we could part our ways so that we may find the last bit of peace left in our lives. And never meet again,wipe me out of your memory. I want to live the life that’s left in me. Peace. Is what I want. If only we could part. I want to forget you, just leave you. I am unable to bear this burden.
Forget me and leave me. Don’t look back. You’re doing what’s right. There is no affection. There is no love. Just a drama. An abstract painting.
I dearly wish to forget you but I can’t. If only I could clear my memories of you. They haunt me. The sleepless nights. Forget me so that I may find the last bit of peace left in me.
Forget me like the fallen leaves
If only there was a way to forget you, my love. I want to retain my life and the peace. Oh, leave me my love. Just forget.
Let me die in peace. Just let my soul part my flesh peacefully. Don’t you care? Tell me my love don’t you feel?
Let me be with my group of mourners and let them cry. Let them cry. If they are. Leave me now. You have forgotten me now. And now I am in peace.
My mind may open if the meadows become infinite, unending;
I am entrapped in the walls of this World,
This world seems to me a lost city, with its empty, abandoned buildings. A paper town if I may take reference from John Green, with its paper people who are not more than mere two dimensional characters, running behind a single goal. Living their mortal lives to completion. I want to open my mind. I want to widen my horizon. I want to immerse my self in the infinity of the universe. To entwine myself in the strings of Nature. I want to absorb the true human character.
To whom I may develop;
This feeling of love with;
I am entrapped;
Dear Lord, entrapped.
I am entrapped in this building I call World
Absorb me Oh great lord
Make me apart this PaperWorld
Sometimes there’s this thing which calls from inside it asks me what am I doing here? What’s my purpose? Am I making my life worth living? For whom am I living for? What’s my purpose? Whom does your life affects? Whom do you love?
Whom do I love?;
I ask myself;
Who is worth loving?
I ask myself;
Am I worth loving?
I ask myself;
Who is there to love?
I ask myself;
Can I love Myself?
I ask, I ask , I ask,
“You are a broken vessel, unable to love, unable to be loved” came the answer
My mind is oblivion, it is an unending stream , it is infinity. It requires infinity to be able to use it’s powers says Mir. I cannot hold it. It needs air. It must leave it’s cage. My mind cannot be entrapped like this. I must find infinity , an unending wide meadow which has no boundary, I must find it .
Yo good peeps! Today, I’ll be telling you something about my self. As you know I’m a student. A college student. I go to Government College University, Lahore , more popularly known as GC, so today I’ll be writing about my college.
First of all I must tell you GC is THE best college in Pakistan and that’s a fact. If you come to Pakistan and talk to a high school student about his college choice, you will hear only the name of GC University. It’s the dream of every student to study at GCU, so was mine and I have, by the will of God accomplished it. First of all a brief history. GC was formed in 1864 by the British who then, were in control of the collective India. And an interesting fact about this college is that, on the special instruction of The British Queen the main building of the college was made in the shape of the Cross, so if you fly over Lahore and GCU you’ll see a gigantic Cross on the ground. Before 1864 the site was used to hang rebels against the English of the 1857 War of Independence. The main purpose of the building was to be used as a church and it is said that they captured the locals and forced them to accept Christianity. That’s the reason the college building shows ancient church architecture.There we have the classic Clock Tower which has been telling time to the punctual for more than 155 years. Its the part of Main Building. In front of that in the Great Oval ground which was once a dense jungle. I have some photos which will show you what I’m talking about. Then there’s the Emphi theatre.
The location of GC is of prime importance as that’s a factor in the cultural development of it’s students. It lies in the heart of Lahore city, the provincial capital of Punjab. There to it’s side is the oldest Bazaar(Market) of Lahore, the Anarkali Bazaar. On the back of GC is Urdu Bazaar, its basically a paper and stationary market. All important building are around. We have the Lahore museum, the Governor House, Zoo, Food street’s there. The old city with its cultural heritage offers some beautiful scenes. Its the most cultured area of Lahore. Then we have the Seven gates of The Lahore city. Its said that each of these gates once had their own separate cultures. The Lahore fort is there, so is the Badshahi Mosque. Its a place to visit, man.
The student of GC are called Ravians. There’s a pride in being a Ravian, its like you’re part of an elite group of people, you point at any prominent person belonging to Pakistan and you’ll find him a Ravian. Most of Pakistan’s Prime Ministers, Army Chiefs, famous politicians, scientists, actors, writers,painters,singers are Ravians. And it’s an Internationally distinguished society. It’s really interesting that Ravians are promoted in the distinguished institutions of the World. Its easy for a GC University student to get admission in Oxford or Harward than the student of any other institute of Pakistan. There’s a whole alumni of internationally acclaimed Ravians.
The internal culture of GC University is like you have a mini Pakistan. Students from all over Pakistan come to study at GC. We also have many foreign students. Its a real beautiful place.
Yeah, so I was thinking about what to write about…… And I was thinking and thinking. So it came to me like this, sometimes I ask my self what’s the purpose of my life in this world? Now that’s a really big question which all of us at some point ask to ourselves.
Like what am I to do in this world? What’s the part to be played my me in this huge play. Is the life I’m living worth living? Now, when I reached that last question it lift me thinking that, Millions of years have gone by since the plant Earth came in to being. And for thousands of years human beings have been inhabiting it. Countless human beings have come and gone. Countless were born , had a great life, pursued their dream and then left. Billions of men came and went. And we are one of them. We have cone to this world. We are living a good life. Living our dreams. Following our passions. Spending time with people we love. But, in the end we’ll also,just leave. And then the next generation will take our place and they won’t know , like us, who came before them. And it will go on and on and on. We don’t know after a thousand years from now on if my name would even exist. Like all signs of my existence would be gone by that time. They won’t know I even existed.
I’ll be forgotten. That’s a Scarry thought. Yeah. Well what can you do?
Like footsteps in sand. Lost. The waves come and wipe your existence. Forgotten.
So, live the most you can because the people who’ll come after you ,won’t give a damn about who you were and where you came from.